5 Things Nobody Tells You about Trauma Healing

Since the COVID-19 pandemic, the word trauma has been thrown around a lot. So have healing, therapy, and related terms, until they almost feel less weighty than before. I acknowledge that we are in a time where people are more conscious of their mental wellbeing.

That’s a good thing.

Trauma is a very difficult or unpleasant experience that causes someone to have mental or emotional problems, usually for a long time.

The truth of the matter is that a lot of people have had personal experiences that merit the terminology ‘trauma’. It is for such people as me that I hope this article speaks to.

What do you need to know trauma healing?

You may never get the acknowledgment you want from others

For most people who have experienced painful events, hearing our family or friends acknowledge what we have been through is a huge step towards acceptance. Hearing them say  “I’m sorry this happened to you” or “How can we help you”? can create an atmosphere of understanding and support.

For many, this is crucial to creating a safe space for healing.

Often, however, the opposite happens. One can share their painful experiences only to be met with silence, avoidance, and aggression. This may add another layer of emotional turmoil for the survivor; therefore, it is important to be aware that the only acknowledgement they truly need is from themselves.

With or without the acknowledgement of family or friends, one’s experiences are valid and worth processing.

Closure is fine, but you can still heal without it

Many survivors of traumatic experiences would love to have closure. We believe that knowing the “why” behind an abuser’s actions, or standing face to face and unburdening our hearts, will enable us to move forward. There is some truth to that. Sara Makin, the founder & CEO of Makin Wellness, says that people often feel rejected if they don’t get closure. But closure may not always be an option. The other person may be dead or just uninterested in revisiting past events.

Closure should not be a stumbling block to one’s healing. Here I would like to suggest some strategies my therapist recommended to me:

·    Letter writing: Write a letter to the offender. You do not need to send the letter; it just gives you an outlet to express your emotions.

·    Explore other activities and hobbies to bring you joy, peace, and an outlet for pent-up feelings.

The triggers and experiences stay with you longer than you’d like

For survivors, sometimes the little things can be a trigger. Unexpected events can bring back unwelcome memories. One may be healed, but the triggers linger a little longer.

That’s why it is important to create new memories. That way, you have ample opportunities to make new associations with things that once held painful recalls.

Recovering from trauma takes effort, but your life is worth it

Peeling back the layers of painful experiences can feel like reliving the experience in real time. This can cause an emotional rollercoaster.

Then there is the aspect of paying for therapy or clinical support where required.

Recovery takes all that and more. And let me quickly add, it is a continuous process.

But one’s quality of life improves tremendously when they feel whole.

Only God can truly heal all the broken parts of you

I’d be dishonest if I didn’t tell you that sometimes human wickedness creates so much pain that earthly therapists can’t handle. A heart so broken, split personality disorders, bodies so broken and unrecognizable- you get the picture.

Where would one go in such instances?

I offer you Jesus. He’s not a strategy; He’s a person who can hold you closer than anyone can and heal you in places nobody knows exist. So there you have it. There is trauma in the world, but there’s also beauty and healing.

So, I hope you know now that the journey is not straightforward, and I have’t even covered all there is to know. All the talk about mental health, healing, self care and trauma is wonderful. But we may be tempted to rush the process or expect a certain outcome right from the start.

Work through your process. I make no promises, but your story is still being written and there is so much beauty you can add to it as you untangle the knots that life has dealt you.

Finally, your life is worth enjoying, even now. Even before you start any healing journey, you’re worth love, joy, peace and all the amazing things of life.

I dedicate this article to one of my girlfriends. Your healing journey is beautiful, and the rewards will be even greater.

Reflection prompt: Which of the points do I need to dig a little deeper into?