The last thing we often want to hear is sometimes the thing we most need to hear. When you’ve given a situation all your energy, resources, and time, it can be irritating to hear someone say, “Dig deeper.”
You believe you have given it your all. There’s nothing more to give.
I agree, you could be at the very end of your rope.
But permit me to challenge you today. If there’s even a little part of you that knows there is more to give, let this be the push you need to try one more time. And one more, and one more.
I’m not here to act like I have crushed all my goals; I haven’t. I’m not here to tell you something you have not heard before in one way or the other. In fact, you may have heard it so often that it sounds like fluff to you. “Don’t give up”, “try again,” “keep pushing.” Yes, you’ve heard it repeatedly. But I bet you’ve not heard from me today(ha!). Humor me. Please.
I once went through a phase in life when I was looking for a scholarship to further my studies. I was at it for close to three years, and I just kept receiving rejection letters. Anyone who knows me knows I succeed at quite literally anything I put my mind to. I’m not bragging, but with God and me as the equation, we can do anything. So, my confidence took a huge hit after being unsuccessful in this area for so long.
One day, a friend told me about another scholarship that I had not applied for before. Initially, I thought, well, if I have failed at all the others, what chance do I have at this prestigious scholarship? Another thing, I was tired of writing and pouring out my heart; I wasn’t sure I had anything to write. With a little encouragement, I decided to apply. I blocked out one afternoon, and 4 essays later, I was done. I put in the application, went through all the stages, and I was successful.
I have remained grateful for the friend who encouraged me to dig deeper into myself and find the strength to keep knocking on the doors of the scholarships.
There are many reasons why we get tired of a situation and want to give up.
- Genuine discouragement. Let’s not pretend discouragement is not a real thing. The dictionary says, “discouragement is the state of having lost your confidence or enthusiasm for something”. Failing at something over and over makes you question yourself and lose confidence in your abilities. That then makes you discouraged and unenthusiastic about pursuing that thing further.
- Comparison. We measure our worth with what other people have accomplished and what they think of us. When we are unsuccessful in certain areas, we think that makes us less than, and maybe the attitude of other people reinforces that. Comparing ourselves with others also makes us put ourselves on an imaginary timeline of what we should do by what age.
- We lack endurance. That is the ability to endure an unpleasant or difficult process or situation without giving way. Most of us have not developed our endurance muscles to the point where they need to be. We can hold on, but only up to a certain basic threshold. We give up sooner than we should, end the relationship or marriage as soon as tough situations arise, and leave that job when we are challenged.
I must confess I have fallen into one or more of these categories more often than I would like. And I’m certain I’m not alone.
So, what do we do? How can we keep standing on the matter of what we want? Ten toes down. Going for broke?
How can we dig deeper and develop our endurance muscles?
- Have a sense of direction and purpose. A strong sense of what you want to accomplish helps keep you grounded. I love the word grounded. It gives me a mental picture of firm standing, a base, back to earth. If you try to jump and you fail, the ground beneath you will still be there to hold you. That’s what your purpose does for you. You always go out fighting to achieve your goals, knowing exactly why you’re doing so, and holding on to the fact that failing at something is not the end. You can always come back to base, ask yourself important questions, and find the necessary strength and resources to go out again.
- Allow pain to teach you. Nobody likes pain, but as long as we’re on God’s earth, we will experience it, directly and indirectly. Failure will cause you pain, losing will make you cry, disappointment and betrayal will bring you to your knees. What you should do is find a positive outlet, pray, cry, talk it out, seek guidance, and find opportunities to improve yourself. What you should NOT do is find an escape in alcohol, sex, or other lifestyles that only take your mind off the pain temporarily. Your bad decisions will be staring you in the face a few hours later.
- Go again. There is really no way around it. You did not succeed the first time in that job application? Apply to another, and another, and another. Your business failed, well, try again. Until when? Well, until you make it. Or does poverty sound like a better idea? Let me just be hard on you for a second. Sometimes we have two viable options, A or B. Plan A failed, so let me go to plan B. But often we have only one good option, and the other, not what we want to consider. It’s either you get a job or you go hungry. It’s either you get into school or end your educational journey prematurely. Chose a lane, and stay in it, but better choose wisely.
Take a break if you must but get back in the fight.
Before I end, let me say this. Sometimes, to help us stand firm, dig deeper, and keep holding on, we need to take a break, sit for a minute, and get back up again.
Other times, we need to polish our armor. Seek input on that CV and make some corrections. Take one more course to prepare you better for your next step. Listen to that motivational speaker (call it fluff if you like, but it builds confidence). Whatever you do, don’t go back to your hustle without bringing one or two new skills with you.
Put your heart in it, let your work ooze passion, vulnerability, and authenticity.
It worked for me, and many others.
Today I want to tell you, dig deep, you might just find an overflow of all the wonderful things you’re seeking.
Keep standing, ten toes down.
Reflection prompt: What skill do I need to polish or improve to give me an advantage as I go out again to seek ………